Once upon a time, little girls grew up dreaming of the day they would graduate from high school, marry their childhood sweetheart and have all their little ducks in a row—and in kindergarten—before they hit the ripe old age of 30. Once upon a time, life expectancy wasn’t quite what it is today.
At the turn of the 20th Century, women averaged a mere 48.3 years on this planet. By the turn of the 21st, that figure had risen to nearly 80. If that growth pattern continues, we 30-somethings will only be hitting our mid-life crises at the age when our grandmothers actually became our grandmothers.
Thirty is the new 20. It’s evident everywhere you look, from the pages of magazines to the cubicle next to you. Manufacturers have finally realized that women want to see a bit of themselves in the spokeswomen that hock their products. So, instead of being expected to buy clothes or makeup from Hollywood’s precious young starlets, we have Charlize Theron for Dior, and Margot Robbie for Calvin . Today the women who actually have the money to spend on such products, are presented with women who have been places, done things and lived life.
We have greater greatness to look forward to past the 40-year mark. Indeed, 30-somethings have all the experience and knowledge their younger followers are clamoring to achieve, and it shines through. Ask any 30-something woman how she differs today from a decade ago and you’ll hear positive phrases such as “more confident,” “more comfortable and at peace,” and “with age comes wisdom.”
“Worrying about what people think isn’t a priority as it was when I was in my 20s,” says Lisa, a medical device sales representative who is single and fine with it. “Insecurity ruled that decade. I’m comfortable in my skin now and I realize what’s truly important in life.”
What can be a little frustrating is the realization that certain people may have been trying to point you in the right direction all along. “You realize what your parents told you as a kid is unfortunately true,” says Anna, a recently married finance manager and CPA currently finishing up her MBA. But there is greater goodness in the knowledge you gain for yourself. “You know the importance of family and a life partner. And you don’t date guys who are not good for you,” Anna adds, noting the further importance of knowing “who your real friends are and what your priorities are in life.”
Many women beyond their 20s point to solidifying relationships and the positive impact that a strong circle of friends can have on one’s life. Joy, a process engineer, while “good at being single,” highlights the importance of making as many friends as you can along the way. “You cannot be successful without them!”
Women are also quick to note, however, that life as we know it at this age would not be all it is had we not first worked through the last decade. Kim, who is also single and works in film production, suggests that women aren’t necessarily “better” in their 30s, just wiser. “We are more secure with ourselves and more sure of what we want out of life. Our need to go out every night and dress to impress is gone.” While a great outfit or pair of shoes might help you fake certitude, these women would rather make an entrance glowing with the real thing. “We are who we are and we’re proud of it!”
Jen, a research scientist currently pursuing a PhD in biochemistry, echoed those thoughts. “Women in their 30s are made to look at life differently than our younger counterparts due to more life experiences,” claims the mother of two. “Every stage in life serves a purpose, teaches us and sometimes scars us, but ultimately makes us who we are.”
That process of learning and growing shows in everything from a woman’s face to the way she enters a room. Joy, notes it’s often education and experience —once believed to be anti-feminine—that make a woman attractive and give her the confidence to let her more feminine side shine through. “Women age beautifully and are much better looking in their 30s.”
“Live your own life happily, without making excuses to anyone, including yourself,” says Sarah, a stay-at-home mom, with a degree in corporate communications, who is currently expecting her second child. “If you don’t want kids and the white picket fence, don’t apologize. If you don’t choose the six-figure salary and designer clothes, don’t be embarrassed. And if you’re fortunate enough to have it all, enjoy!”
Thirty-somethings are moving through their current decade excited about the realization that education, degreed or otherwise, never stops. And they believe firmly they are better equipped to deal with whatever the world throws their way with each passing day. “Everything will still be there in the morning,” Lisa says, “and some things just don’t need to be on a time clock. That was a tough one, but I finally realized that it’s a lot less stressful for me if I let things take their course. I can’t control everything. Wow, what a concept!”
By Jennifer Quail
