WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
EATING FRIED SHRIMP AND FRIED CATERPILLAR?
NOT A DAMNED THING!
AS PER USUAL IT’S ALL IN YOUR MIND.

Chocolate chip cookies are, undoubtedly, an, all-time, American favorite. They’re warm and gooey while slightly browned at the edges and speckled with oozing chocolate. These creamy cookie crumbles are all well and good, but if you think this classic cookie is ready for a revamp, you’re in luck. Substitutions like peanut butter for chocolate chips, applesauce for butter, or (don’t judge) mealworm for flour all make for a much healthier interpretation.

Yes, you heard me right. Mealworm. As in, the yellow, scaly, wriggling, barrel-o-worms? Yep, that’s the kind I’m talking about. Mealworms feed on bran and oats, so why not? They’re like the hyperactive twins of squirming Fiber 1. They’re a perfect substitution for flour adding a nutritiously nutty flavor, as well as an extra punch of protein (without all those extra carbs). And since these wormy wrigglers are a favorite snack of mice and hummingbirds, any pet store will surely have a ready supply. Don’t be scared either, because this “Flour” preparation is a breeze: Simply rinse off a bowl of live worms and throw them in the freezer for 15 minutes, a quick death. Bake them at 200 degrees for one to three hours (to dry them out) and grind them on up. Voila! Mealworm a la mode. Or, if the idea of worms in your cookie makes you lose your lunch, why not try adding ½ a cup of roasted grasshoppers. This will definitely make a tasty, albeit, crunchy, batch of Chocolate Chirpie Cookies.

Are you grossed out? Well, you shouldn’t be. Over 3,000 ethnicities in more than 113 countries around the world have been eating insects for centuries. Bugs have more nutritional value than any other creature, and with over 1,700 species, every pallet is sure to be satisfied. But something is stopping us from munching on tangy, deep-fried crickets instead of popcorn or noshing on savory roasted water bugs: our gag reflex. In the States, the idea of eating bugs is repulsive. Foul. Sometime between creation and Westernization, we developed a stigma that exempts us from the rest of the world. Bugs were deemed as disgusting mentality it hasn’t changed. But, they can significantly alleviate millions of rumbling bellies.

Entomophagy, the practice of humans consuming insects, was a necessary part of survival in societies long before tools were created for hunting and farming. As improvements were made in the farming industry, cultivated edibles became our main source of sustenance. Insects became farmers’ worst enemies and ours too. Imagine ticks and fleas in your pet’s silky coat, mites in the carpet, roaches scrambling for crumbs between cracks in the counter, lines of ants marching regimentally from the cereal box to a fixed destination unknown to us… these visuals justify all the toxins, traps and pesticides we use to counter-attack. We spend billions of dollars a year to kill and poison what could be, metaphorically speaking, tomorrow’s dinner. Little do we know that the consumption of bugs has the potential to be a win-win deal: we could save billions of dollars nixing pesticides, increase our food production by the thousands (by gathering bugs from crops instead of exterminating them), and close the book on the organic vs. nonorganic debate, since everything would be pesticide-free. But for now, the joke is on us.

Take Honey Nut Cheerios, for example. Honey Nut Cheerios are a staple of the average American diet. General Mills advertises the “irresistible honey sweet taste” and swears you’ll love “lowing your cholesterol”, but what they neglect to say is Honey Nut Cheerios are flavored with bee larvae. (As in, the larvae of a honey bee.) Understand that bees use their “honey stomachs” to ingest and regurgitate… yes, regurgitate nectar a number of times in the hive until it is partially digested. This regurgitated nectar is stored in the honeycomb and later extracted by beekeepers to flavor your favorite breakfast. But remember this, honey is larvae and isn’t much different than the larvae of other bugs. The only difference, I suppose, is its consumption is widely accepted in our society. Honey is used to flavor and sweeten more than breakfast; it’s used in jams, jellies, as well as the syrups that flavor sodas; it’s a natural sweetener far more nutritious than sugar.

Is it surprising, then, that insects are far healthier than farm-raised animals? Lipids in bugs are long-chained unsaturated fats, and much less damaging to our health than the saturated fats predominant in conventional livestock. A one hundred gram serving of beef contains 288.2 calories, 21.2 grams of fat and 23.5 grams of protein, while the same serving of grasshoppers has only 150 calories and 6 grams of fat, but 20 grams of protein and far less cholesterol. And, just a snippet of information for those of you making a conscious effort to diet and/or stay healthy: bugs have nearly the same protein content as beef and will keep you just as full for half the fat and calories. Certain bugs also host an excess of vitamins and minerals. Beat that, suckers.

In addition to being healthier for our bodies, bugs are healthier for the environment. More bugs and less beef would reduce the need of grazing cows. A decrease in cows reduces cow flatulence, also known as methane, one of the leading aerial pollutants of the depleting ozone. Insects also reproduce twenty times faster than cows for one-tenth the amount of food. The consumption of bugs is surely more economical– what carcass is there to chuck? What guts are there to burn or hooves to market as dog delicacies? Oh, that’s right. None.

And there’s something else you should know, something you might not want to know. You have, in fact, been eating insects since you were born. That peanut butter on your shelf contains insect filth, and so does that wheat flour sitting next to it. It’s nearly impossible to rid produce–vegetables, fruits, grains, nuts – of all insects or insect waste. Since insects are more beneficial than harmful, the FDA has no problem allowing small amounts of them in your everyday food, processed foods included. Formally, this regulation is called the Food Defect Action Levels, and is defined as “levels of natural or unavoidable defects in foods that present no health hazards for humans.” We’re no longer straddling ‘organic’ territory, not at all. These small helpings of insect parts are literally “natural and unavoidable.” They’re a nice nutritional boost, and it’s not like you’d even notice a small speck of insect poop.

Or do you? You assume those little black specks in your loaf bread are spices or grains, but they’re actually insect parts. And what about flour? Beetles, weevils, and other pests present in granaries get caught in the crossfire and end up being mulled along with grain. It may sound horrifying, but our idea of insects is far too Hollywood. There’s positively nothing grotesque about consuming insects. And there’s absolutely no reason why you’d have to stare them in the eye and feel their legs brush the back of your throat. You wouldn’t swallow a hunk of raw beef would you? Apply the same rule to insects. You can remove their extremities, fry, salt, flavor to taste and pop them in your mouth. Try new cuisines! Sample new delicacies. And next time you’re wondering why “this dish tastes so good,” keep in mind bugs can easily be concealed in your food.