In a time when women strive for more independence and self-sufficiency than ever, it strikes me as rather backwards that sales of sappy, sentimental make-believe continue to soar. How can women expect to move past everyday stereotypes when they still cling to the very roots of them? Whether consciously or not, this stuff clogs our perception. In a novel where a woman is portrayed as a weak struggling lamb just waiting to be swept away by Fabio (who will surely provide her with sexual satisfaction and total personal serenity), a fundamental concept of independence is lacking.

Sure, the base of these fairy tales makes sense. Women like to daydream about men, so the idea of losing yourself in a story of love or lust (or both) is very seductive. Steamy sex scenes don’t hurt the appeal either. But this type of literary content originated in a time when women were still so very repressed, when it was a step towards sexual freedom. And that’s great. But fast forward to the year 2022. Women today speak their minds. They have fulfilling lives and careers and they don’t typically wait around to be saved by men. The notion of overcoming repression by means of a dreamy guy has officially expired. Overall, sexual freedom continues to stretch further and further past what used to be so taboo, yet there’s still ground to be covered.

This is creditable in part to women allowing impractical material to penetrate our mentality, our ideas of relationships, and as a result, our sense of personal self-worth. I mean, just the covers of these books alone are enough to make me question the sanity of some women. Please explain to me how a juiced up, oily, long-haired, half-naked man with a strategically placed sword in his utility belt –why is he wearing a utility belt?– would attract my interest in any way, romantically or otherwise?

Laughter is actually my initial reaction upon seeing such a visual, but frustration comes in close second. Why is this idea still alive? Romance, by one definition, is legend. It’s not concrete. Of course, sensitivity, love, sensuality, and passion are still very much alive in today’s society; I’m no cynic. But that doesn’t make it okay to perpetuate a vicious cycle of imaginary circumstances. That type of hypocrisy contributes to the crack in the foundation of women’s freedom – both sexual and personal.

It’s too often that we sigh and say, “some things will never change,” instead of taking a step back and examining the root of certain situations. If women and men alike could start to recognize the loose ends in society, things actually could change. There’s nothing wrong with fantasizing and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone, but when the true idea of passion gets so twisted and fucked around in your head, it’s bound to have some unfavorable effect. It might seem tolerable, even harmless, and yeah, “to each her own” and all that, but I think I speak for a large majority of women when I say that buying into the asinine assumption that women can sit around anxiously awaiting creepy, curiously suntanned men to finally find them is just straight up bad content for the brain.

Are women’s expectations too high because of such exaggerated portrayals of romance? Maybe. Or maybe they’re too low! But is it unhealthy to have preconceived notions about something as personal and unique as love? Definitely. Women should be re-creating the concept of “romance”, not reinforcing old ideals. In order for women to totally take ownership of all their rights, advancements must take place in every facet of society, not excluding the outdated philosophies of men and how they are expected to make you feel. Don’t you think that buying into these flaky ideals of yesteryear merely perpetuates the outdated conventions of the past? There are plenty of traditions that society maintains for good reason, but methinks sexism masked in series of elaborate tales of exaggerated romance just isn’t one of them.

Women have to collectively understand that times have changed for the better, and these changes should permeate the types of media we soak up in our daily lives. On the other hand, you could always lay around on a velvet chaise lounge fanning yourself in desperation while waiting for a bare-chested, muscle-pulsing paradox to come carry you to a river and make love to you in a bed of roses, bluebirds harmonizing post-coital.