I think many of us are familiar with the feeling of being ghosted by romantic interests, but what surprises me most is how often I’ve been ghosted by female friends. I’ll admit, I’m not a perfect friend—none of us are. Like anyone else, I have my flaws, and occasionally, those flaws come to the surface.

Recently, I’ve had the opportunity to build new friendships in the city, which, as we all know, is no small feat. Finding fun, trustworthy friends in New York is a challenge, so when you do meet someone who can enjoy a simple coffee date with you, it’s only natural to want to cherish that connection. I did my best to maintain these new friendships, but unfortunately, a few of these “friends” ended up treating me the same way toxic men have in the past. They noticed my flaws—the inevitable cracks in my wall—and instead of addressing them, they chose to walk away.

For example, I once forgot to call a friend and later reached out to invite her to lunch so we could catch up. She read my message, blocked me, and unfollowed me on every social media platform. At first, I thought it had to be a joke. But when I followed up, it became clear she had already decided to ghost me, without so much as a conversation or explanation. I was stunned. How can people be so quick to cut ties over a misunderstanding or mistake, especially when they’ve trusted you enough to share their secrets and call you a friend?

It’s frustrating and selfish, to say the least. Have we really reached a point where ghosting feels easier than having a simple conversation? If we truly value our friendships, shouldn’t we be willing to work through issues instead of abandoning them at the first sign of trouble? It’s deeply upsetting to think we might be losing the essence of what real friendships are meant to be.