Springtime Nuptials
… or how reality tv gets us to say I do to ridiculously overpriced, idealized, over-the-top celebrations of mine’s bigger than yours.
I love a good wedding. Drinking (for free,) dancing (like I said, there’s free drinks,) and top notch food and entertainment aren’t exactly something I turn my nose up at. Nor is the chance to get together with good family and friends, have a good time, and ya know, celebrate the love and marriage between two people (that’s the point, right?) Bearing that in mind, America today is utterly and unabashedly obsessed with the notion of a wedding. Not the marriage part. The wedding. (Just to keep our priorities straight here.) And the more detached society becomes from the actual institution of marriage itself, it seems, the more fixated we become on the wedding. Is it some sort of collective exchange of precedence or are we simply becoming shallower than ever? Either way, it aint good.
Centerpieces, decorations, favors, flowers, lighting. The countless list of demands for a wedding could go on and on and on. In fact, it could conceptually be written in the form of old school scrolls – dutifully unrolled on command by the wedding planner. Such is the over-the-top approach so often taken to planning and executing a wedding. Why does this material drivel take on such consequence in a time when divorce rates are higher than ever? There is a deep-seated desire, among women and men alike, to create a momentous occasion from which to leap into life, headfirst. Starting off on an unrealistically high note so as to sail into matrimony intoxicated by splendor (or, often times, just intoxicated) seems like the perfect way to start. Not totally ideal, however, when the jump is built on expectation alone.
So where does this expectation come from, exactly? A list of century old reasons could be held accountable of course, but in today’s day and age, in a time of overwhelming media influence, social networking and overall digital frenzy, I think the answer could come down to what is as simple and superficial as one thing: television.
Regardless of whether you want to admit it or not, it’s very likely that most of your (and mine, I admit) nights consist of coming home from work, having some dinner, maybe doing some chores, and… watching some TV. (At least I can say its research) Often until going to bed. I don’t claim to be above it, but it has become acutely aware to me that the amount of wedding programming on TV today is actually… Out. Of. Control. You have your basic Bachelor and Bachelorette reality shows, which are equally demoralizing and captivating. Then you have your larger-than-life wedding portrayals for the over-privileged Americans we love to hate. Example: 90 Day Fiance And then you have Marriage or Mortgage, which is just one more way to depict the sordid spoiled American population. In a time of continuous economic calamity nonetheless. So very sensitive to the effected population, isn’t the media? Oh and then we can’t forget the new addition to this list of distaste. The Ultimate Wedding Show. If you are not familiar, this is a perfect example of how we are manipulated to want, need… er, no, expect the perfect celebration of our nuptials.! This show makes the point of this article, perfectly !
This type of reality television is considerably detrimental, especially to the vulnerable and highly impressionable shell-of-the-girl-she-was bride. Obviously, some gals can keep it together. Some gals can hack it. But, Jesus Christ, I mean some women literally let the planning take over their whole entire life. And from a get-you-where-it-hurts standpoint, reality wedding TV plays on this vulnerability and sucks women in, portraying wild indulgences as downright necessities. A 25 tiered cake bedazzled and hanging from the ceiling suddenly seems like the most logical way to approach dessert.! What is put on the back burner during this time though, of course, is the relationship between the impending betrothed. I know more than a few couples who admitted to not having any non-wedding conversations, or even sex, during the mind-numbing planning era. Losing sight of what is important is not exactly a new concept, but having this be the case in express association with reality television is. And more and more, I see the warped “reality” of these programs being reflected on other people’s personal lives. Who’s to blame?
It is my personal belief that there is a special place reserved in hell for the heartless networks that grind out this degrading idiocy. The money-driven forces of the media know how to bend moral standards to the point of unrecognizable. Visibly spending hundreds of thousands of dollars for what is essentially a party is blatantly sickening. Now, if ya got it, ya got it, and you can spend it however you want, obviously. But why should it be shoved in the face of the average citizen in every primetime spot it can manage to creep into? It’s both exploitive and self-centered to shine a spotlight on something that should be seen as great extravagance. And not only does this extravagance usually show women in a terrible light, but it also fucks with a woman’s perception of acceptability. The media should be focusing on programming that aims to contribute somehow meaningfully to society or at the very least not to worsen circumstances. The oversight of this primary civil right, which is that of proper representation, totally escapes our society with shamelessness and without regard. The freedom of speech and the freedom of press is a whole lot of freedom to be had. And the roots of these freedoms can be found in honest American values. But when they start to allow for tremendous corporate power and essentially the breakdown of the very core of the values themselves, has it gone too far?
